Chilled or Lazy?

Couple things. I’m typing this from a chair in my backyard (I’m thirsty because my dog just spilled my BLL during a hyper spell but I’m also too lazy to get up and get another RN) and the double u on my keyboard is broken thus making it really hard to use (insert double u)ords that start (insert double u)ith this letter.  Please bear (double u)ith me.

So-a lot has probably changed since the last post eh? I accepted a position back at a large corporate Bank and man has it been different. Said position started Monday. I’ve been getting home at 3:30 PM every day since and it’s very strange. I feel like I have so much time on my hands which is nice but also odd.

Coming from a gal (double u)ho’s usually moving around or doing something active it’s been (oh, guess my cue is broken too) (cue)uite an adjustment. Actually, I spent a majority of my time driving to and from my parents house just so I could go on hikes at the local State Park (double u)ith them and my pup. I could take a stroll around my neighborhood but it’s flat and doesn’t have a waterfall running through it. Like (double u) TF Haley. Chill the eff out.

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Hiking pals

Sam said something tonight that really struck me. “Enjoy your time-relax…(double u)rite a blog post CHILL.” He’s absolutely right (I rarely say that hehe).

One thing I kno(double u) about myself is that it’s very hard to just sit in the moment and not do anything. I feel lazy, useless, bored (am I really bored or do I just tell myself this?)…Instead of focusing on all the active things I could be doing (hiking, biking, baking, cleaning, running, roller blading…) I need to focus on (double u)hat I am doing. Maybe I am just going to sit outside and drink a margarita for a night. Maybe I am going to take the dog for one stroll around the neighborhood instead of 3. So (double u)hat if I feel like viewing a TV sho(double u) one night…there’ll be plenty of time to be active.

I just think it’s crazy ho(double u) the mind can put so many ideas into the brain. I already got a workout in this morning but my brain is like oh, you’ve been sitting for an hour, you suck. Go do something lazy girl (sadness).

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Guess I’ve been active since childhood 🙂

Am I going to be able to fix this overnight? Ha-probably not. It’s something I’ve struggled (double u)ith since High School. It’s something that makes me me. I’m constantly trying to (double u)ork on this-to tell myself that I am worth the break…That it’s okay to not do anything for a hot minute.  But there’s al(double u)ays that part of me that says no, you need to do something.

Do I need to find a hobby? Should I join some sort of club? Start painting? Start a journal (isn’t this my journal?). IDK. Maybe I just need to play more candy crush 🙂 Do you find yourself thinking the same things? Lets share ideas, shut that rude voice off, and let ourselves be enough because (double u)e totally are.

Cheers.

-Haley

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